Our sixth assumption is that you are interesting. You have things that attract people to you. Maybe you knit. Maybe you follow the Eagles. Maybe you're a CNN junkie. Maybe you like the theatre. Maybe Mozart is your favorite composer. Maybe you're the great grandson of John D. Rockefeller's great nephew. Maybe you have a shrine to Lady Di. Maybe you collect plastic objects. Maybe you like wrestling, or you were a Deadhead before Jerry Garcia went and died on you. Maybe you bowl, or like to play golf, or are a curling addict. Whatever it is, you have a cluster of things that make you interesting. Out there are people who find you interesting. Not everybody. Just a lot of them.
In my case I was a Realtor. I call myself a "recovering realtor." I have a Ph. D. I know about social network analysis. I know about history. I know about entrepreneurship. I have travelled. I have read and written books, both fiction and non-fiction. I play chess. I play string quartets. I know about health care. I have gray hair and a beard. I can play squash badly, golf worse, and tennis even worser. When the subject of golf comes up, I can talk about it because I played for a lot of years coming up, but when people ask me if I play, I say, "No, I gave it up for the good of the game." People find that funny and laugh which communicates that I have a good sense of humor (but don't ask my wife). I have two African-American adopted children. I have done community organizing. I blog. And so forth. I can talk intelligently on at least 8 subjects. People find me interesting. I put myself out there and they are interested. That's great. And I'm no genius. You can too. It just takes a little confidence, willingness, thought, and time.
If you don't think you're interesting, it's not that you're not interesting, it's that you don't feel confident about yourself and you don't trust yourself in a social situation. Drew Carey said he wanted to be a comedian but he didn't know any jokes. So he went to the library and started looking up books of jokes. That worked for him, and he's no genius. But he is funny.
My advice, get interesting. Act as though you are interesting, not egotistically, but as a confident person. Inventory your background, what you like, what you don't like, what you're good at, what you're not good at. You are a real person and you are presenting yourself as you are, warts and all. Craft a story about yourself with you as the main character.
If you find that nothing interests you, you're not trying hard enough. But if you truly are not interesting to anyone, become interested in something. If nothing comes to mind, just try something. Go to a movie. Go to a sporting event. Go to a concert. Go to the library and read a book. Go volunteer for a charitable organization for a day. I don't know.
This of designed to help you realize who you really are. As I said before, if you don't know, that's okay. Nobody has everything figured out. Everybody has unresolved issues. Even me, though even I find that hard to believe. Also as I said before, the you that you present has to flow from the you that you are.
If you're still unsure, go ask your friends what they find interesting about you. Write down what they say. Ask if you can talk to them later when you're farther along. If they're your friends they will be delighted to help you. If you don't have any friends, get some.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Todd Duncan's Values Clarification Exercise.
Todd Duncan (Killing the Sale. The 10 Fatal Mistakes Salespeople Make and How to Avoid them. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2004, pp. 74-79) recommends you do this to bring out the reason why you were put on earth. Mine was to help people. He says you can go to the book's website, but it wasn't around last time I checked. This is a way you can begin to see if your actions are aligned with your intentions--first you understand your intentions. Then you have to examine your actions. They have to flow from your internal mission.
Step 1: Take a sheet of paper and write down the first ten things that are important to you, i.e. health, family, financial security, traveling, wealth, etc. Anything, just don't list more than 10. And make sure they're 10 different things. If they're sort of the same, combine them. If they're redundant cross one off and add another one.
Step 2: Rank them from top to bottom assigning the most important to #1 and the least important to #10. Then cross off #6 through #10. Then put a deadline by each one. For example, debt free by 2012.
Step 3: Take another sheet of paper and on it write down--
#1. Priority:
Vision Statement
Mission Statement.
Do this for each of the 5 you identified.
Step 4: Under each vision statement, write a vision statement that embodies how you see yourself when you've achieved that goal. If your goal is financial security, you're vision statement might be: "I live debt-free."
Step 5: Under each mission statement, write a statement of how you will achieve that vision, i.e. "I will put $10 in the bank every week."
Something like that. I just made it up. You'll have to do for yourself.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
Step 1: Take a sheet of paper and write down the first ten things that are important to you, i.e. health, family, financial security, traveling, wealth, etc. Anything, just don't list more than 10. And make sure they're 10 different things. If they're sort of the same, combine them. If they're redundant cross one off and add another one.
Step 2: Rank them from top to bottom assigning the most important to #1 and the least important to #10. Then cross off #6 through #10. Then put a deadline by each one. For example, debt free by 2012.
Step 3: Take another sheet of paper and on it write down--
#1. Priority:
Vision Statement
Mission Statement.
Do this for each of the 5 you identified.
Step 4: Under each vision statement, write a vision statement that embodies how you see yourself when you've achieved that goal. If your goal is financial security, you're vision statement might be: "I live debt-free."
Step 5: Under each mission statement, write a statement of how you will achieve that vision, i.e. "I will put $10 in the bank every week."
Something like that. I just made it up. You'll have to do for yourself.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Basic Assumption #5: Authenticity
Our fifth assumption is that you will be authentic. You will be you. You are a real person and you are presenting yourself as you are, warts and all.
This of course requires you to find out who you really are. If you don't know, that's okay. Nobody has everything figured out. Everybody has unresolved issues. Even me, though even I find that hard to believe.
It's just that the you you present has to flow from the you that you are. What do you value? Who do you want to be? Who is the who that you are.
You can't be a successful connector if you approach networking events as platforms from which to spew forth all what you want to spew forth. You have to go there to communicate credibility, respect, and authenticity.
It doesn't mean you can't change. All of us grow and change as our lives move along. If we didn't we wouldn't be human. going to networking events is not networking.
How do you find this out? Go through some values clarification exercise. Go to my entrepreneur blog, referenced below, and look up what I've written on Todd Duncan.
I'll reproduce it here next time.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
This of course requires you to find out who you really are. If you don't know, that's okay. Nobody has everything figured out. Everybody has unresolved issues. Even me, though even I find that hard to believe.
It's just that the you you present has to flow from the you that you are. What do you value? Who do you want to be? Who is the who that you are.
You can't be a successful connector if you approach networking events as platforms from which to spew forth all what you want to spew forth. You have to go there to communicate credibility, respect, and authenticity.
It doesn't mean you can't change. All of us grow and change as our lives move along. If we didn't we wouldn't be human. going to networking events is not networking.
How do you find this out? Go through some values clarification exercise. Go to my entrepreneur blog, referenced below, and look up what I've written on Todd Duncan.
I'll reproduce it here next time.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Basic Assumption #4: Going to Networking Events is Not Networking
Our fourth assumption is that going to networking events is not networking.
You know lots of people who go to these events and come home frustrated. They think it ends there.
It doesn't.
Networking is not going to networking events. Going to networking events is one essential part of the process, though.
So go these events and collect cards. Talk to people. Find out what they do. Look at how they're dressed. Observe how they behave. Listen to what they say. Let them know who you are and what you do.
Collect cards and save them. It doesn't matter that they breed hyenas and you're the CFO of a major school bus manufacturer.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
You know lots of people who go to these events and come home frustrated. They think it ends there.
It doesn't.
Networking is not going to networking events. Going to networking events is one essential part of the process, though.
So go these events and collect cards. Talk to people. Find out what they do. Look at how they're dressed. Observe how they behave. Listen to what they say. Let them know who you are and what you do.
Collect cards and save them. It doesn't matter that they breed hyenas and you're the CFO of a major school bus manufacturer.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Basic Assumption #3: Generosity
The third assumption is that we connect with others out of a spirit of generosity. We want to help them before asking them for anything in return.
There was a movie from the 1990s I think, called Pay It Forward. It came out in the couple of years after Mad About You, one of my favorite TV programs of the time, when Helen Hunt was very popular and seemed to be in every movie that came out. She and Kevin Spacey, and the kid who also made the Sixth Sense.
Anyway, she played an alcoholic Mom with a jerk of an ex-husband who showed up every now and then promising Eden, then disappeared just as fast after abusing and beating both of them, leaving her in hell. Kevin Spacey was a burn victim and the kid's middle school teacher.
He talked about pay it forward in class and then gave the kids the assignment of paying three things forward, under the assumption that they would do acts of kindness. The movie then traced what the result of that was.
It's a little like that. Pay it forward by approaching others in a spirit of generosity and good will and you will receive riches beyond your wildest dreams.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
There was a movie from the 1990s I think, called Pay It Forward. It came out in the couple of years after Mad About You, one of my favorite TV programs of the time, when Helen Hunt was very popular and seemed to be in every movie that came out. She and Kevin Spacey, and the kid who also made the Sixth Sense.
Anyway, she played an alcoholic Mom with a jerk of an ex-husband who showed up every now and then promising Eden, then disappeared just as fast after abusing and beating both of them, leaving her in hell. Kevin Spacey was a burn victim and the kid's middle school teacher.
He talked about pay it forward in class and then gave the kids the assignment of paying three things forward, under the assumption that they would do acts of kindness. The movie then traced what the result of that was.
It's a little like that. Pay it forward by approaching others in a spirit of generosity and good will and you will receive riches beyond your wildest dreams.
I'm trying to improve people's connecting. Is this helpful?
Connecting is the life's blood of all my professional activities. It makes them go. It informs my entrepreneurial strategy. For my ideas on entrepreneurship go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
It makes Your Stop for Real Estate , my real estate referral business, go. See www.yourstopforrealestate.blogspot.com.
It powers my approach to writing. See www.kearneymusicschoolmurders.blogspot.com where you can read my mystery for free, download it for free or buy it from Amazon.com more cheaply than you can print it.
It fuels my publishing outlet, By and for Writers. See www.byandforwriters.blogspot.com where you can get a poem or a short story published.For other ideas on entrepreneurship, go to www.hatman2.blogspot.com.
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